A Tale of Two Entrepreneurs

Posted by on October 15, 2018 in Blog, Consumer issues, Humour, Rants | 0 comments

Sir James Dyson/Pro-Tech Recruitment

A certain damesnet reader has accused me of always writing about quotidian matters, so I am sounding the quotidian klaxon right now: if you feel you cannot stomach a blog about vacuuming, then look away now.

The truth is, I find the rivalry between two brands of vacuum cleaners rather intriguing and have probably spent more time thinking about this topic than is healthy. What has prompted this mundane musing? Two very contrasting television ads, and my own deep-seated hatred of my Dyson.

Nick Grey/Daily Express

This hatred explains why I am rather taken with Nick Grey and his GTech AirRam lightweight cordless vacuum cleaner. Nick Grey is an engaging inventor WHO APPEARS TO DO HIS OWN VACUUMING. He understands the frustrations of reaching the limit with your flex and trying to cart something like a rigid two-ton octopus round your house. He has a female companion with whom he sometimes jokingly competes for the right to wield the cleaner, and a playful collie dog whom he does not berate, even when it jumps on his newly vacuumed sofa. What’s more, Nick is in touch with nature: he has also invented a mower and and electric bike that he gets out and about on. This all looks like fun!

Contrast this with Sir James Dyson, OM, CBE, FRS, FR Eng. – and noted Brexiteer. My thoughts towards his vacuum cleaner become more venomous every time I get it out (which is not, it has to be said, as often as I should). I hate the weight of it, the fact that you have to get the handle to sort of collapse when you use it, and then it flops around and falls every time you have to change sides with the flex; I hate the way that the attachment that sits on the machine itself is not apparently the right one for doing the stairs (according to Mr Verity): not very ergonomic, if you ask me.

So you can imagine my rage when I saw the latest Dyson ad. No Sir J. doing a spot of domestic work – it’s just him boasting that his new cordless vac is so brilliant they’re not making any more ball cleaners. Well thanks, Jim – you flogged us this monstrosity, and now you have the cheek to consign it to the obsolete basket.

But what do the experts think? Interestingly, the Dyson comes garlanded by Which? laurels, whereas the GTech AirRam gets the Good Housekeeping Institute seal of approval. My theory is that the nerds at Which? are in thrall to the technical specifications of the Dyson and the fact that it can remove 99.9% of soft fluffy cat’s tummy hairs from one square foot of shag pile carpet in 10 seconds (or whatever the measure is), which is a feat that the G Tech might not be able to replicate.

I suspect that the testing team at the Good Housekeeping understand that such records count for little in real life, where it is much more important to have done the cleaning – all of it – than to have to have broken the world record for suction over a short distance.

Whatever – all I would say is (if damesnet weren’t above such cheap innuendo), Nick Grey is welcome to bring his G Tech AirRam round my house any time.

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