{"id":5512,"date":"2018-01-09T15:25:16","date_gmt":"2018-01-09T15:25:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/?p=5512"},"modified":"2018-01-09T15:25:16","modified_gmt":"2018-01-09T15:25:16","slug":"musings-from-the-underground","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/?p=5512","title":{"rendered":"Musings from the Underground"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

Cyril E. Power – The Tube Station\/scsmith\/flickr<\/p><\/div>\n

Aaahh, there\u2019s nothing like that growing rumble, the slightly smoky rush of air, and the roar and flashing windows as the train comes in. Is it only Charing Cross that has this coaly smell? I think so. Anyway, definitely one of the greatest pleasures London has to offer (perhaps not in the rush hour, though).<\/p>\n

Can I make it to a seat with a convincing air of insouciance? Not really. And I\u2019m definitely not scrambling over bags and feet in an unseemly bid for somewhere to park my bum, like she is. It\u2019s OK \u2013 leaning is almost as good as sitting. Ooer, I wonder if she regrets that sprint now \u2013 she\u2019s got a pregnant belly hovering by her face. Oi! Blokes! Look up from your papers and down from your headphone-induced reveries and offer a pregnant lady a seat. After all, she\u2019s incubating a future contributor to your pensions. Hooray, he\u2019s getting to his feet \u2013 my mental darts have done the trick for once. Now she can take the weight off her nadgers. (What are<\/em> nadgers, by the way?)<\/p>\n

Oh, good. Waterloo. \u2018Ladies and gentlemen, you\u2019ll find that if you stand aside to let passengers off the train and to let those on the platform board the train, we\u2019ll be on our way much quicker, so I do advise you to give it a try \u2026 May I wish all those alighting here a very good afternoon and evening. It\u2019s been it\u2019s been my pleasure to be of service to you and I hope you will get carried away with me some time again soon.\u2019 Yup \u2013 the driver\u2019s trying out his one-man show on us \u2013 stand by for more heavy sarcasm, people.<\/p>\n

Loads of people getting off so I can just drift into a seat with every appearance of indifference. Time to get back into my book \u2013 oh, dear: it\u2019s looking a bit the worse for wear after three hours in my bag. Hang on a minute \u2013 what\u2019s she doing? Blimey \u2013 doing your make-up on the tube is one thing, but painting your toenails!? Isn\u2019t that a bit risky, madam? A sudden stop and you might have metallic blue all over your neighbours and some hefty dry-cleaning bills. Or at the very least some ghastly splodges on your pink suede sandals. And your nails won\u2019t be dry for ages \u2013 what if someone treads on your toes? Still, the entire carriage is mesmerised \u2013 it\u2019s the ultimate in underground entertainment.<\/p>\n

Yeah \u2013 all human life is definitely here. Maybe it\u2019s because I\u2019m a Londoner that I love the Tube so. Ah, happy days with the dames, decades ago, when the Circle Line really was a circle line and you could just go round and round on it. We once had a party on it. And what about the homeless? For the price of a Zone 1 ticket they could snooze all day and into the evening in a nice warm carriage, gently rocked by the rhythm of the wheels.<\/p>\n

Back to the book \u2026 oh, no! Talking of homeless people, here comes one begging, and everyone is overcome with paralysing embarrassment and I DON\u2019T KNOW WHAT TO DO \u2014 HELP! Do I dare for once not to do what everyone else does, or shall I just hide behind my book? Be brave: get out your purse and give him \u00a31 (but what can I say if anyone tells me he\u2019ll just go and spend it straight on drugs?) Done!<\/p>\n

Nearly there \u2013 must remember not to be fooled by the train stopping to wait outside the station for a platform \u2013 nothing makes you look more like a prat than standing up too soon. Good, it\u2019s going straight in. Off we go. \u2018Oh, thank you very much \u2026 very kind of you\u2026\u2019 Forgot about the book on my lap, so now I look like a prat anyway. I\u2019ll just try not to get my bag caught in the door on the way out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

. . . the driver’s trying out his one-man show on us . . . <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":5514,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,67,55],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5512"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5512"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5512\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5518,"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5512\/revisions\/5518"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5514"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5512"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5512"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5512"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}