{"id":6750,"date":"2019-08-05T09:45:32","date_gmt":"2019-08-05T09:45:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/?p=6750"},"modified":"2019-08-05T18:01:09","modified_gmt":"2019-08-05T18:01:09","slug":"theres-a-small-hotel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/?p=6750","title":{"rendered":"There’s a small hotel . . ."},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Bates\/Brian Crawford\/flickr<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Now it can be told: there was a time when I contemplated abandoning my two small children \u2013 only temporarily, you understand. The pressures of looking after a newborn and an infant while being ill myself brought on daydreams of simply walking out, checking into a hotel and taking to my bed, where my coughing would not wake a cherub I had just spent 40 minutes lulling to sleep. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A budding author who is also the mother of toddlers recently expressed her delight at being sent on a book signing tour. Her publishers, rather embarrassed at the bog standard budget hotels they were putting her up in, could not understand her enthusiasm. But for her it was going to be bliss to have whole nights in somewhere clean and tidy \u2013 the cleanliness and tidiness of which were not down to her. What\u2019s more, there would be nobody following her into the loo!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As someone who has been lucky enough to have to travel for\nwork, I share this fondness for hotels \u2013 of whatever sort. The splendour of an\nentire suite in an old-fashioned hotel in The Hague did not spoil me for the\ngrittier charms of the station hotel in Crewe, complete with broken bottle on\nthe stairs, where I could have abseiled onto the platform.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Going into a new hotel room is a bit like opening a Christmas\npresent \u2013 hope mixed with apprehension. What you hope, of course, is that your\nbasic needs will be fulfilled: is there a plug for the basin? Do the curtains\nmeet in the middle? After that you can start getting picky: does the digital TV\noffer Radio 4? Is the smell of the smellies appealing or nauseating? Do they\nhave biscuits as well as tea and coffee, and if so, are there any ginger ones?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is an entire website devoted to hotel room hacks, showing you how to remedy various shortcomings in your accommodation, which I wish I\u2019d come across before \u2013 like pegging skimpy curtains closed with the pegs in the coathangers. In Manchester I wondered why the fellow guest at reception insisted on a room at the front of the building. When I got to my room I found out why: all-night lights blazing in the office block opposite. Unaware of the peg trick, I rigged up a Heath-Robinsonesque contraption with chairs and the edges of the curtains to try to mitigate the in-room light pollution. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Breakfast is potentially another box of delights: will there be little shots of smoothie? Mini-doughnuts? Failing that, burnt white toast with masses of salted butter will do nicely. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve had my fair share of rooms by the lift, where sleep is fitful; of drunks returning to the next room and turning on the porn channel; and of boiler failure, where I hugged the dying radiator for warmth and boiled a kettle for washing, but on balance I\u2019m still a fan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, I feel my future is in hotels. I\u2019m very tempted to follow in the footsteps of an elderly couple from Sheffield who\u2019ve decided to live out their days in a Travelodge. It makes perfect sense in all respects: at a stroke you remove the need for home maintenance, cooking, cleaning and gardening. No more utility bills, TV licences or insurance premiums. Generous helpings from the breakfast buffet would mean that you\u2019d barely need to eat for the rest of the day. I\u2019d go for a budget hotel in a central location, from where I could totter off to museums, galleries and the theatre. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

All this \u2013 and without the stigma and regimentation of an\nold people\u2019s home! If I were Travelodge or Premier Inn, I\u2019d be afraid, very\nafraid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


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I hugged the dying radiator for warmth . . . <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":6753,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,67,55,1,54],"tags":[219],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6750"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6750"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6750\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6772,"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6750\/revisions\/6772"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6753"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6750"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6750"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damesnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6750"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}