The Finer Points

Posted by Verity on March 16, 2026 in Blog, children, Family, Humour, Living today | 2 comments

Much to my surprise I found myself watching quite a lot of the Winter Olympics. I’ve always been a sucker for ice dancing and figure skating (were it not for my ideological objections to the hegemony of Disney, I’d have been first in line to get tickets for Frozen on Ice), but some of the newer events caught my imagination.

Chief among them was Big Air snowboarding. It was heart-stopping to see the competitors launch themselves in to the void and then entrancing to watch them rotating – seemingly in slow motion – against the night sky. There was a commentary, or course, but I didn’t understand a word of it. I had to go to the BBC website afterwards and look it all up! ‘Amplitude’ is landing in the right place (on top of landing on your feet rather than on your arse, obvs), and ‘reverts’ are bad news: when you hit the ground before your board does. A goofy stance is a thing, as is a mute grab…

It got me thinking about all the opaque sports vocab that has been evolved over the centuries, providing fodder for hours of mind-numbing punditry, yet representing sport’s capacity for formalising and rewarding subtle improvements in and distinctions in technique. Players or competitors who develop and refine these to the max stand to gain massively in points, prizes and reputation.

Which is all very well for the goddesses and gods of sport, but what about the rest of us? Reality TV has done a great job of highlighting the skill and craft in a lot of activities undertaken at home and for leisure, such as baking, throwing pots and dressmaking (I love watching people do things I can’t do.)

But there is a widespread, and as yet acknowledged and unrewarded, practice of skills honed over many decades, chiefly – dare I say it – by women, that contribute massively to civil society, health and wellbeing, and the gaiety of nations generally. It’s time for some formal recognition.

Anyone for a SOTI? The Social Occasion Tact and Insight Award goes to the person who, for example, simultaneously defuses a grumpy old uncle bent on having a go, while directing a basilisk stare at the barman to prevent him serving the tipsy teen reveller their tenth drink and retrieving from her handbag the sewing kit to fix the tearful bridesmaid’s ripped hem.

There are many times when I myself have felt that I should have been in the running for an AICUP (Averting Imminent Crises Under Pressure) award, not least the occasion when I neatly slalomed between a recumbent child and divers trip hazards en route to a saucepan about to erupt while answering an urgent phone call.

And hats off to any men in line for an IMMA (Infant Mess and Management Award). This is given to the person who successfully deals with imminent digestive fallout while forestalling a meltdown, without compromising domestic décor or hygiene.

Can you imagine the commentary for the IMMAs if the contenders were observed and reported on? ‘… and she’s going in for the change…ooh, he’s on his back without a whimper! But those legs could be a threat… whoah, that was close… Look at THAT – a one-and-a-half-turn wrist flip, and straight into the nappy roll… You can’t argue with technique of this calibre.’

We are all uniquely talented in our own mysterious arts and let no one tell you otherwise. Just because they are not witnessed does not mean they don’t exist!