White Ribbon Day 2025

Posted by Verity on December 8, 2025 in feminism, Medical, Rants, Social welfare, society, Women's equality issues | 3 comments

It’s a cause for anger and shame that we have to have a such a thing as White Ribbon Day at all, but since this campaign against violence against women and girls is as vital now as it ever was – if not more so – it is heartening to see the practical and emotional support available to victims up and down the land.

The event that I went to, hosted by Places Leisure in New Malden, Surrey, and organised by Georgina Pepperrell and Ali, was a perfect example of female solidarity in action. The keynote speaker, Priya Dawkins, founded the Jessica Project in the wake of her own experience. Aged 18, with a place at university lined up, she went to work in her gap year. The abusive relationship she ended up in with an older male colleague nearly destroyed her. It certainly left her traumatised, unable to take up her university place, and with no one to turn to. She barely understood what had happened to her or how she could have missed the warning signs. The process of healing was slow and painful, but she is now both a qualified Independent Sexual Violence Advisor and Independent Domestic Abuse Advisor, and the Jessica Project is providing a valuable resource and safe space for women.

Following Priya came three very different testimonies. First was Nia, whose story was somewhat unusual in that her abuser was a woman. From the age of 13 till she was 21, Nia was first groomed and then abused in a variety of ways by her cheerleading coach, who ended up in complete control of her life. Only once she managed to break away, did it become clear that those around her knew full well what was happening, but felt unwilling or unable to help her. Nia had to battle hard to get the police to take action when she finally reported the abuse, and the subsequent legal process dragged on for years, meaning she was constantly obliged to revisit the trauma rather than get on with her life. That her abuser received a ten-year prison sentence shows how seriously the court viewed the offences in the end.

For Ali (the organiser of the event) the abuse came out of the blue as a sudden violent assault  – strangulation – in the course of a burgeoning relationship. So matter-of fact was her partner about this incident that Alison began to wonder if she had imagined it, and the relationship continued for some time afterwards. But the symptoms of trauma became too strong to ignore, and she reported it. Strangulation is an offence under the Domestic Violence Act 2012, and the depiction of it in pornography is set to become illegal very shortly under an amendment to the Crime and Policing Bill tabled last month.

Following these horrific stories Shash felt emboldened to share her experience. At her adult children’s urging, because she had been single for 20 years, she tentatively tried Tinder. A few non-eventful dates ensued, until she began an exchange with someone she felt she got on with, despite the dodginess of some of his messages. They agreed to meet, and when she arrived at the hotel bar in question, her drink was ready and waiting. The rest was a blur, until she woke up in his hotel room , clearly having been penetrated without her consent. The trauma following this assault left her suicidal and had grave consequences for her health. She credits the Jessica Project with saving her life, and has since become a moderator for the site.

We also heard from Jacqueline Mokono, founder of Project Salama, which similarly provides support for survivors, with a focus on women of colour (who face additional problems such as honour-based violence and female genital mutilation). The statistics she relayed were sobering – one in three women can expect to experience physical or sexual violence in their lifetime – and in common with other speakers she emphasized the importance of male allyship.

Those who took part in the trauma-informed yoga workshop were, by now, more than ready for it: twenty-five minutes of gentle, loosening, freeing practice, led by Ali, focusing more on release and relaxation than on technique, designed to combat hypervigilance and restore calm.

So, an illuminating and constructive day, though it left me with plenty to reflect on. Whereas the expectations of mature women for a relationship have been forged in the real world, where certain basic rules of respect and reciprocity apply, those of many men have been warped by the manosphere into a nightmare of domination and sadism – to the point where I begin to doubt Jo Cox’s maxim that ‘we have more in common than that which divides us.’ The corollary to women’s ‘naivety’ is the delusion that has been foisted on boys: that it’s normal for women to cry during sex.

The campaigns to oppose violence against women and girls and mitigate its impacts are among the most pressing social movements of our time.