Family matters #2
Some time ago I wrote a blog for damesnet celebrating a trip to the US where I caught up with a set of cousins I barely knew. Well I confess to being on this topic again. I can’t quite pinpoint when the general concept of ‘family’ started to mean much more to me, but it’s probable that there was no eureka moment, just an incremental appreciation of the value of this particular set of relationships.
I feel particularly fortunate as I have both a network of staunch friends and a parallel one composed variously of first cousins, first cousins once removed and second cousins*. The last one from the previous generation departed these shores earlier in the year. I miss my great-aunt Rene. We’ve just returned from a ‘special birthday’ celebration of one from the second group of cousins that was held in a beautiful village in the Loire region. The birthday boy is one of four siblings – and son of Rene – and his wife is one of five, so as well as revisiting links made in my childhood I met some fascinating people.
There were over 60 guests, and the majority stayed in ‘La Chancellerie’, which resembles nothing so more than a mini chateau complete with ramparts, but modernised to incorporate delights such as a pool and games room. The building was originally the home of Count Hurault de Cheverny, Chancellor to Henri III, who reigned from 1574-1589. Looking up the promotional blurb for the place, it is available for anything from corporate gatherings to weddings and family events, including ‘cousinards’. I don’t think there is a precise translation of that in English, but it is self-explanatory, and really resonated with me.
And now I descend into unashamed sentimentality; I have no nieces or nephews, but now the grandchildren have arrived I have discovered a new set of relationships. I’m watching my children’s kids grow up near each other, proud of their cousins and creating the same sort of links that gave me so much pleasure in France last week. I hope that these links survive to adulthood; no doubt there will be periods when contact is minimal if not non-existent, but as I have found, picking up after a 20-year gap is eminently possible. Childhood memories resonate through our lives, and I love being reminded of a particular occasion when X and Y said or did something, and then contributing from my own memory bank.
A propos, I must contact cousin Gill – she wasn’t at the party as she had other commitments. She is two years older than I am, and on family holidays together I was in a constant state of admiration and worship for her poise and wit – as I saw it then. I wonder if she remembers how we managed to break the bed in our hotel room practising ‘swan dives’ in order to improve our swimming skills. I can see and hear her doing them now.
*I am happy to clarify the difference between these two categories for anyone requiring it; Private Eye pops into my head again as I know I should get out more but..
Fascinating!
You may have clarify the differences… I’m not sure I can explain it!
A lovely blog, Barbara.
Thanks Joyce. The ‘removed’ status refers to the difference in generations. So my first cousin’s child is my first cousin once removed, but my child is their child’s second cousin. Simple eh?!